Insomnia can be such a problem sometimes. I remember when I was younger I was only 6 and I had insomnia. Growing up made most of that problem disappear but than often times, for no reason at all, the problem comes back like some long lost friend. Ironic, me, comparing insomnia as a friend. God, I need to get out more.

I went to bed around 2:30 last night and I don't even know why I stayed up that late. But I guess it doesn't matter because I just wake up to a lonely quiet house anyway. It's not like I had anything to look forward to last night for this day. My parent are going to be gone all day once more. They bought me white castle burgers to hold me down for the entire day. I hope it's enough because I might end up burning down the house if I try to cook something due to my problem of zoning out lately. I need someone to keep me in check. ::looks around:: That's not going to happen. I'll fend for myself then. I'll keep me in check.

I think my parents took my digital camera for their conference. The reason why they need it is beyond me. It's just a whole bunch of doctors probably talking about something as boring as watching a bird poo.

I woke up around 8:30 this morning and I layed in bed cuddled into a ball staring out my window until I realized that an hour passed by when it felt more like five minutes. Time is so strange.

I got out of bed and turned on the shower. I shower every day but I barely ever 'get ready' because I don't see anyone. Right after my shower I dried my hair with a hair dryer. Brushed it to a nice polish. Then put on pretty make up to make me look a princess. After I was done I looked in the mirror while I was in my towel and I wondered why I did it. I stared at myself for a long time. Today's just going to be like yesterday, simiilar to all the days that I have been here, lonely. I won't hear anyone laugh or see anyone smile and no one will do the same for me. Scott won't be able to taste the vanilla on my lips or smell the Pantene Pro-V in my hair. The eye liner and blush are making me look more awake than I have been in months. It's nice to look like I have friends again, to look almost happy. Happy. I don't want to lie my head down just yet because I think someone's going to call me up and ask me to do something on this gorgeous saturday. I know no one is going to call, everyone that needs me is 550 miles away. I don't know why I do this to myself.

You'll be just fine
But I'm on the other line
killing time won't stop this crying
~elliot smith

Kill me with time