How about you?
I wish I could take away that moment when you felt yourself die; 'cause I feel it now too, haunted by it's breathtaking and life-altering mood, like your first glance of death, which was as intense and as innocently naive as those playground days when kids use to throw rocks at me. I never knew what I had done that was so damn wrong but I knew it must have been bad because I had already known the taste of blood was like since I was six. I'd crawl into the sandbox hoping I'd sink, so no one would jeer or laugh at the way I spoke or what I wore. I'm sorry I didn't understand the pun of that joke and I'm even more sorry that I kept staring at you two kissing on that couch; I didn't mean to laugh and I didnt mean to look on as long for as I did. Being young made me stupid and curious and I'm sorry for my mistakes. I'll never commit them again. I'll pay for my stupidity, and award myself with teeth marks on my knuckles. I know I should have held my tongue; I'm sorry for saying what I did and being so damn dumb as I was.
Can you look past the empty pools of dark blood in my eyes? I didn't do it, I promise. It was Ralphie with green hair and brown eyes that use to tell me what to do. I tried to tell people that it wasn't my fault, that it was Ralphie grabbing me by the hand and telling me to do those things like play with Mommy's make-up and wear her pretty jewelry when she was away at work. No one believed me because they said that Ralphie wasn't there. They said that I was being childish and that I should learn to grow up and accept my own irresponsiblities, that I shouldn't blame non-existant imaginary friends. But he was real. And he was my best friend. He left one day and I never knew where he went to. He said that he had to go back he didn't fit in with me anymore. I thought he was being silly so I threw a pillow at him and told him to go to bed. He was gone the next morning. I woke up and I thought he was hiding; we played hide-and seek a lot. I jumped out of bed and immediately knelt beside the bed, lifted the lavender sheets, and checked if he was there. I looked up and saw the curtains sway beside the window; Ralphie He was never good at hiding. He wasn't there either. I spent the rest of the day looking for him and he wasn't in the sandbox or underneath the bathroom cupboard with all the make-up. Ralphie was gone one day and I woke up after that day. He wasn't real and neither am I. There was no Ralphie and I didn't have an imaginary friend. I'm lying. Just to get you to listen; I'm lying.
Let's try something else, a different approach, do you want to be my friend?
Look at me, I'm not who you see.