Deans Office
I got sent to the Deans office today because I've been skipping study hall incessantly, probably 15 times or more. I was taking a Grand Examen in French, trying to differentate between direct objects and indirect objects when there came a rapping tapping on the door (actually it was just a knock).
Is there a May Miguel in here?
(I turn around)
You are to come to the deans office (looks at me) (pause) ...after your done taking that test.
I couldn't concentrate after that because I kept glancing at that gold piece of paper that connotated I had done something that wasn't all together now 'school-spirited' or 'right'. Fuck that. It's just study hall and it's only 20 minutes long. I wish this damn school wasn't so anal about everything.
As I was walking down the hall to the deans office, I started to get really anxious. I hate authority and I'm really bad with people when I'm in trouble; I turn into this totally push over 'I'm so sorry! I'll never do it again' goody goody. I felt sorta dizzy because I knew that I failed that French test because St. Charles North's stupid administration has a stick up there ass.
I walked into the Dean's administration. I looked inside and waited for the secretaries to stop with their gossip so I could get this over with. I waited for a good minute before they realized I was there. Just because I'm not white does not mean I'm invisible. They just looked at me.
Um, Hi, I was sent to the Deans office.
Name?
May Miguel.
She's been expecting you; please have a seat.
As I sat down next to a coffee table, I contemplated the Secretary's words "She's been expecting you," How intimidating does that sound!? Who says that to a highschooler? I felt like I was gonna wet my pants. I hate getting in trouble, I always feel like adults would say something that would shame my parents. It's all about the guilt.
I looked to my left and noticed a pile of college magazines; I picked one up and started perusing it. Ting Triiiiing Ting I heard the mandatory bustle of a normal passing period. It was loud and noisy. People screaming, pushing, and over-all acting like their on speed. I heard talks of "Billy! Stop it! Hehehehehe!" and "OMG, did you see what she was wearing today? She is such a slut." or "Dude, he's such a fuckin' faggot." ...and suddenly I felt relaxed, my nerves loosened, I sighed deeply and I remembered why I hated this school so much.
May Miguel?
(I looked up)
I thought you'd come sooner. Were you taking a test?
(Nod)
Come into my office
I sat down in a comfy chair that most school offices have that try to make you feel comfortable when they are yelling at you about being an irresponsible student.
You missed 4B (the second half of fourth hour which is my study hall) today. Why?
I hate it here.
(shocked; she seemed quite taken back)
I'm new here.
Oh. (her face softened) Where did you move from?
Kansas City, Missouri
Different?
A lot different.
Have you tried joining clubs?
I gave up on student interaction after the first month.
Oh.
Do you want to join a formal study hall instead of the informal one you have now? It's just sitting down and working quietly.
(shrug) I guess so.
Let me get your schedule fixed.
She left and I started looking around at the typical inspirational posters on the wall about 'courage' and 'responsiblity'. I looked at her post-it notes and I thought about what she wrote on those and who she gives them too or if she just keeps them to herself as friendly reminders. I looked at her pens and thought about how many she must go through writing on all of those post-it notes. I looked at her computer and thought about how with a click of a button I could cause chaos within this school and tear apart the only world that these students know, school. And although it felt very tempting, I felt very sorry for all them, so I turned my attention to the mini stereo to my right. It was playing classical music. Brahms. Nice. I looked at her cute selection of books on her shelves, they just blurred together because all I could think about is, what does a Dean do all day? Does she sit here in this office and read these books.
...Okay Here's your new schedule.
I snapped out of my trance and I looked up at her. She had walked in and place infront of me a new schedule of hell. I tried to smile but I probably looked high doing it with all the thoughts going on in my head causing a migraine and the disatisfaction that I won't be able to skip study hall for a while. I left.
I can't help
but think you're having more fun than me.
I'm jealous.
Ever so jealous.
Air. Clouds. Breathe.
