I was walking to British Lit. when I heard someone say 'Woah, ugly chink,' I looked around and there weren't any other asian people around me. I continued to clmb up the stairs and I think I was upset.

My next hour was drivers ed., we drove in cars on an open range, a black top. They were four Ford Taurus'. I haven't driven in forever and it felt good. It was wet outside and I was wearing flip-flops and my feet were cold thoroughout the day, and I was distracted. It was mighty uncomfortable.

During lunch the girl next to me who usually is smiling was wearing a black shirt and skirt instead. Her neighbor, whom she was friends with killed herself, and I didn't know what to think except the fact that she probably killed herself because she felt alone and went to a school that the kids could say chink and no one would notice 'cause the rest of the surrounding students were white and that kind of talk didn't affect them.

I sat next to a girl in study hall, two seats to my right, that likes to draw and she's was wearing a green sweatshirt.

Do you like to draw?
(looks up) Yeah (looks down)
Do you like anime?
No.
Oh.

The girl sitting next to me was wearing a pink skirt with flowers on it that matched her lunchbox. Her name is Geneva and is very nice. She has a voice like a broken whistle.

I sat next to a boy. I don't know his name, but he was reading the newspaper. The sports column. Typical. He has gone to the bathroom everyday since I've been to this new study hall.

I walked out of study hall to enter my french room. I wanted to sit by myself during French but I knew I couldn't because the girl sitting beside me, thinks she's saving me because I'm the 'new kid' and lonely, when in truth I think she is the true lonely one. And I just realized that 'lone' is one letter short of 'one,' I'm not sure if this is anything, but it makes me sad for some reason. The girl's name is Kristin, and she was wearing eyeshadow that matches her green sweater.

And throughout the day, I was trying to pay attention, but I kept staring at the back of my planner that displayed the school song and I felt alienated. I'm not a north star.

I think I was sad today because I didn't talk. I thought a lot about marbles.

And I don't know why.

I met this girl, her name is Kimberly, through a nice girl named Zaynab, and she talked a lot about Gone with the Wind.

So I thought about Clark Gable and then the postal service and my new found obession, because that is my favorite song of theirs.

I thought a lot about nothing and I don't really know what to think anymore because my fingers are as cold as my red nose right now. And I'm thinking a lot about my Sion friends because I would like to wake up tomorrow knowing I get to laugh, but I know that won't happen. And that is okay because it doesn't really matter. I'm serious. It doesn't.

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