I had the perfect thing to say just now but I can't remember it and it sort of bothers me. And I know what you are thinking, "She feels bothered," she lied about yesterday. She does feel something. Maybe I'm writing right now to make an apology because yesterday just seemed so unusual, it seemed like I was yelling at you, lecturing you, and it's not that way at all. Because I'm thinking that right now, I need someone, and the potential people who could be someone my savior, I'm pushing away.

But then again, I think, that if you truly wanted to save me or if I was truly meant to be saved, that it didn't matter what I was writing just then or how I wrote it, because 'the saving' would happen anyway.

I think I'm becoming just a tad bit idealistic.

...And I guess I'm just thinking I'm worth more than I really am.

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