And Beth gave me this to look at.

dramaqueenbeth88: this one guy took a box everyday for three days and now he's bipolar. he said he looked "half crazy, and my pupils were the size of pennies"
dramaqueenbeth88: sound familiar
m a y 0487: a little too familiar
dramaqueenbeth88: "everything was moving when i was standing still"
m a y 0487: wow, at least I can relate. I still can't shake how movie and dreamy it felt and the water feeling is pretty much gone it's just replaced with this lethargic feeling
dramaqueenbeth88: it made him really depressed
dramaqueenbeth88: oh jeez
m a y 0487: hm?
dramaqueenbeth88: please dont try to kill yourself like he did may
m a y 0487: no, I wouldn't do that.
dramaqueenbeth88: good
m a y 0487: But I have to admit, if I would kill myself I'd take a lot of those
m a y 0487: That way it would be a familiar way to die
dramaqueenbeth88: ...in a sick way
m a y 0487: I know, I think I'd know where to go...that door.

I think I could remember all that I could remember for last night. The part that gets me, the part I keep thinking about, is the fact that it felt so movie. For more than 50% of the trip, I was dreaming. I was dreaming and I didn't know I was walking. And the time when I woke up and said, "I'm awake," is the time I realized where I was, that it hit me, that I wasn't dreaming, that it was at night on a november day and I was standing on a sidewalk by a street. And I remember everything moving while I was standing still. And how the black kept coming back, like the way an artsy film would portray a drunk person falling. And I feel it. And I still see that door with the light; I'm afraid that you think I might be making this up. But I'm not. And I'm still a little paranoid but mostly okay. My mom just said my name and it made my heart skip a beat. And my eyes are still a little bulgy. But hopefully tomorrow will be better.