I'm going to Missouri to save whatever sanity that I have left, to be around people who can support me right now. I need to feel loved.

...this is best for me in the long run.

Inevitability. I can't type much right now because it hurts. And I'm clouded by swirling thoughts of knowing that it's going to be okay and then being pushed around by pain. I need to stop and breathe for a moment. I don't want to do something stupid again like saturday. I need to collect myself. It will be a few days. Just a few.

Maybe by then, I'll take down that offer. And I won't pay you because I'll be my own producer and consumer of pain. Wish me luck. This is going to be a ride I'll never forget.

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