Just Give Me A Chance; I'll Show You What I'm Made Of
I want so much right now that I feel sort of possessed by some deadly seven sin.
I just feel like life isn't that bad as people say in songs and try to convince you in some sort of melodramtic speech. I just feel like life isn't that great either, that people are exaggerating when they say it is beautiful.
I know it can be. But the beauty doesn't last very long. And what's the point of living when every day is exactly the same as the last? When you get so tired that even tears bore you? I just feel like I'm 80 and I'm only 16. I feel so old and I haven't even experienced much. I just feel this way by the way I live each day of my life. And I know there is better and I know there is worse, so I know I should quit my bitchin'.
It's just for the first time in my life I'm sure I could die right now without being afraid, I mean that I could truly grab a bottle of aspirin and just down it right now with this glass of water sitting beside me and go to sleep and not care. And this isn't because I'm depressed or because I think that life is bad. I can't exactly say what it is that moves me this way; I can explain why I feel this way, that I'm just not sad or happy anymore.
Isn't that the worse? Worse than being depressed? Because you have a reason to die when you are sad but ...what about my case? What is my reason?