And so I feel like I owe something to someone or to something. And maybe writing another entry will make this feeling go away. Maybe I'm trying to justify something by trying to make amends for another mistake I made. I'm just going to type and have that be it.

My hands are freezing and my parents have gone back to the daily non-existant heater ritual. Brrr. I can barely feel my toes.

I keep thinking the same thought if anything. Which isn't anything at all. Which isn't much. And I haven't gone anywhere. So here I am and just look. The same old thought. The same old girl. This girl. I don't think much anymore and maybe that is why I haven't written in a while too. Because I'm ashamed of my lack of depth recently. Or lack of anything.

I'm truly not sad if that is what you think. I guess I'm just concerned on letting you know that I'm not depressed and that is not the motive for my actions, for anything that I've done up until now.

I told you I got that quiet feeling of sad.

I'm that girl.

I just need someone to be here for me. That's all. I'm not saying that I'm all alone by myself. I know that I have all of this people that love me. And that's great. And even if they aren't here for me tangibly because they are miles and miles away in different directions that it doesn't matter because I know that they care and that is enough.

But I want more.

And I'm not sure if that makes me selfish or what not. But all I know is, that there has to be more to life than this. More to life than what I'm feeling. More to life than this quiet kind of sad. This girl. This little girl.

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