Nowadays
So maybe there is nothing to really say and typing here is just more of a waste of time than it is beneficial.
Maybe I'm just thinking that I'm okay and that everything feels normal if I hold my breath and think real hard about the good things that I have.
'Cause there are so many things to be grateful for.
It's just that my optimistic view doesn't last forever but just because it's gone doesn't mean it's replaced by negativity ...it just means that is it gone.
Just because something's not there anymore doesn't mean that it always has to replaced by the opposite of what it lost.
Who came up with that anyway?
Screw polarities and all that 'ying-yang' shit. Fuck opposites and the balance of life. What does it all come down to? Nothing.
People just create illusions of logic and reasoning to make themselves feel better.
Everything is a contradiction.
A paradox.
An oxymoron.
So where does that leave the balance of life? Ying-yang and opposites are just another sick illusion of the human mind. Black and white. Good and evil. All nothing. It crosses each other out until there is no balance because everything has an exception; contradictions, paradoxes, oxymorons.
What are you really suppose to believe when nothing is real? Nothing is tangible. There is no solid proof, no supporting evidence. People blind themselves into denial. They walk around their entire lives believing in something because the media said it, because people said it, because it was written in ink. What about ink? It is just ink. Just because it is written doesn't mean that is the word of God; it just means that it is written down.
What about ideas? Thoughts? Imagination? When did all of these valuable attributes to the human nature cease? No one cares anymore about finding out truth because supposedly it is all laid out before them.
"To know is to stop thinking."
People just get lazy because they use 'technology,' when ultimately it will just be the end of thought all together. As soon as they have all these machines thinking for them ...then what's the point in humanity?
Machines don't make mistakes; they are perfect.
What about human fallibility? What about the stimulation that comes from error? The passion, the determination, that moves ambition? Where does that go when we don't have to think for ourselves?
The answers are all right here.
They start teaching since you were four. Parent are all in the conspiracy as well; some even put their kids in schooling earlier. For what? To learn not how to be human? To learn how computers work and how math and science are the reason why we are here?
Maybe so.
But then what is the point of being who you are? When machines can take the place of you? Where is your value ...your worth? Was it stripped from you because someone who was smart, who went to school, found a way for life to be 'easier,' so a new generation of people don't have to endure hardships that they had? They think they are doing the common good, to save everyone from pain and torment.
But where is our challenge?
Where does our passion and ambition lie when everything is already done for us? Does no one see how truly spoiled we are? Can anyone see when media blinds us with beauty and lust? Where does our value lie?
We spend our lives believing that what we are doing is good; that we are making a difference. Learning and going to school is what we should do.
The best lessons learned aren't found in the desks at school infront of a white board; they are found in the experiences through life.
Where do we get our experiences when life is so easy? No. See... everyone has a sob story but no one realizes that the victory and success of these stories really lies within the strength of character of the person? That life isn't as bad as people deem it to be.
It just seems hard because no one knows any different.
The first taste of blood. The first taste of pain. The first taste of heartache. People fold, bend, crumble... There is no endurance in the face of the youth today because we have it so easy.
I'm the youth of today and I don't mean to degrade us in anyway but I look around me and I can't help but shake my head and chuckle.
I am ashamed to be born during these times.
I'm not saying I'm almighty for seeing this. I'm not doing anything to change it. And that is what it all comes down to. I know there are many people who must think the way that I do. I'm not sure if I have it in me to change it all ...so it makes me think even more ... that someone who does see it ...won't do anything about it.
It makes me ashamed to be who I am.
And that is not enough. Noticing and being ashamed isn't enough. It changes nothing. I'm not sure what the point of this entry was but it was just to say something.
I do think more than just about love and Scott. I do think more than just some love-struck teenager. I am more than what I show you.
I'm not concieded but I know what I'm worth.
And I haven't been showing it lately. But I'm going to try.
It all comes down to trying. So try.