I had some new classes and some old ones. I have Creative Writing first hour and I feel sort of awkward about it. We had to write one sentence describing us in a certain way, like:

I am the sort of person who gets cast as a tree with only two lines and becomes the most interesting part of the play. Note: I really like whoever wrote this.

We had to write this sentence and share it. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal; it's just that I took Speech for two years based on my fear of crowds; I also have stage fright. I took Speech (and debate) to try and rid myself of this fear.

The task of writing this one sentence and the thought of sharing it left me sweating and anxious.

Now I'm unsure about whether or not I should even be in this class...

I took this class based upon my confidence that I got over my stage fright because I performed infront of many crowds when I went to Speech/Debate tournaments.

Now I just realized when I was overcoming my fear that I performed other works of literature and not my own.

It is hard for me to let other people read my work. I want it to be read but only anonymously; I don't like people knowing it was me who wrote that taboo ...provactive... sentence.

I read my sentence and I just felt naked. My collared shirt grew hot around my neck and I looked at the floor; I hate it when I do that.

And one of my other concerns is that I can't write in the way that I use to. I read over the entries of this new diary and I can hardly feel proud of it. Embarressed.

I've mentioned it before ...that this talent of mine that I was proud to have is faded just like my passion.

I'm not the same May and I won't write the same; who's to say that my work will be as good as before? Wow, that sound really concieded; I know there are tons of better writers out there. It's just that I wanted to at least hold my own and I don't think I can because I ...

Well, honestly ...

I forgot how to write.

The May you are 'reading,' right now is not the old May where people were impressed with. I was good because I was passionate and now I'm passions gone.

So what do I do?

I'm so embarressed.