It was a five hour drive back and fourth. I left friday afternoon. It was for my Aunt's birthday which only comes every 4 years. So technically she is only 10. It was a massive filipino party at the Holiday Inn.

It was nice because I got to see my brother and sister & I learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em (Poker) ...I'm still learning. The kids ended up playing that game well into the night. We got home around 2:00 that evening after the party ended.

Scott called twice that night and once the night before. I didn't pick up the phone.

It felt like old times. It felt like I still had a brother & sister. It felt like home all over again. And I was happy.

Saturday morning, the morning of the party, my family and I were all lying around infront of the T.V. and my sister gave me her CD player and told me to listen to this song.

She had the nice kind of headphones. The kind that twist to fit your ears; the kind that doesn't mess up your hair.

And I was lying down while I was listening to the song.

And I listened and hung on every word because it moved me. Because it was beautiful. Because it reminded me of my old life. Because the nostalgia built into that song made me want to cry. And I almost did but my parents were in the same room ...and I couldn't let them see. And it hurt. Everything just hurt. And for a second I felt sort of elated.

It reminds me of my old life.

It's a song that has a romantic notion. But when you really listen it could fit any relationship of your life.

I couldn't write the lyrics here because it wouldn't do it justice. If you want to hear them for yourself, "The Reason," by Hoobastank. Don't cheat and look up the lyrics because it won't have the same impact ...even if you do end up listening to it later.

The last day I was there my brother and I were driving to my Aunts house and we were listening to it on a road surrounded by trees and he said to me:

It's idealistic, ya know?
What is?
The song...no one falls in love like that. And when people leave they never say those kinds of things.

And I knew he was right but it was still nice to think that maybe I could say it to my parents when I'm ready. And Scott could say it to me when he was ready.