Believe me when the sky turns purple and water turns gray. I need to know that I'm not the only one whose noticed how hard growing up can really be. I know you think about it too. I know I'm not the only one. I just want to be able to talk about it & not be ashamed or embarressed.

Innocence does leave you. & nothing ever feels the same. No matter how hard you try. I just need someone whose not afraid of growing up because the fear inside me won't dissapear. I need a miracle. I need someone to believe in right now.

Some words of comfort. Sing them to me.

I need to know that people care. I want to scream an apology for not being strong enough right now. But the tears are blocking my vision and all I can do is hope. Hope. Hope. That someday all the things I'm so worried about right now will dissapear because they need to.

Because I can't be sad anymore.

Not like this. Oh God, not like this... not again.

I just need to know that even if I'm lost right now, that there is a glimmer of hope, that I'll find my way again. I just need to believe that everything is going to be all right. I just need to reassured.

& no one is here.

I just need to know that I'm important and that I'm special. I just need to know because right now I'm really insecure. Right now my heart is really really heavy. & the words pouring out of my fingers lack in articulation because I'm scared and very ashamed for saying all the things I just did.

Because crying and vulnerability is not my style.

Things change. People change. & there's nothing you can do about it.

When did I lose hope? When did the things I thought would be with me forever leave? When did all this pain come rushing back to me? I swear to God, I thought I was going to be okay.

But now I'm not strong enough. & I'm crying. & crying. & crying...

I can't stop and I'm choking on all the words that I'm trying to say and I'm blinded by the all the tears that are running down my face. Everything taste like salt. Everything feels really sticky.

I'm really trying not to be melodramatic. But please, I dunno, this hurts very much. I just want to, need to, believe... 'cause I'm crying. &crying. &crying...

& I shouldn't because strong. so i'll be okay. i always am.