Prom
Prom is May 8th at the school I am attending.
I'm not going, if that wasn't obvious already, who in the fuckin' hell would I go with? Let's count the people that I know at that school of 2000 by name: 35 max. That might even an exaggeration & it includes the miscellaneous students in my classes. The chances of me knowing the name of the student sitting beside me throughout the day is 40%, which is pretty low if you analyze it.
I guess I'm just sort of put down because I can't go to prom. As cliche and puerile as it is, I've always wanted to go since I was 6. My sister and I would play with Barbies and dress them up in glittering hott pink and blazing blue gowns to attend their plastic prom. I guess I wanted to fill in the shoes of my barbie and turn that plastic night into magical reality.
It is said that the three most important days of a girls life is: Prom, Wedding, and the birth of your first born child.
I wanted to know why so many womens magazine were devoted to these three events. I guess I just wanted to start my three important days with all of my friends. The chance of this happening is long gone because Sion's prom was a week or so ago. One of my friends sent me a picture of her and boy:
She sent me an entire e-mail full of these. Explaining: Since you couldn't be here in Kansas city to see me as I got ready to go to prom or at my pre-prom; here are some of the pictures that mom and dad took and one that was taken at prom. Hope you enjoy. Oh! Don't go around sending them and showing them to everyone one because most of them look bad, but I'm sending them just so you don't feel let out or like you missed anything by not being here.
I guess I shouldn't be mad. I just get that nostalgia feeling all over again, like I'm missing out on something important. That fear that I won't be able to catch up once I go back is just tapping me on my shoulder like an annoying toddler begging for food.
I just sigh and turn my head away. What can you do, you know? It's just I turned one of my guy friends down last year to go to prom because I wanted Scott to be my first prom experience. And what a load of shit that was. I know as pathetic as it may sound, going to prom was a childhood wish, that dream, a fantasy. You know? Something great, like that.
I'm just dissapointed that I can't go this year. Everyone around St. Charles is in an uproar about it, so I can't really escape thinking about it. It's just times like this, I feel like I'm missing out on an important highschool experience, something that I wouldn't be able to tell my kids about.
But I am all right. Really I am. It's not as bad as you think ...or as pathetic.