I said I was sorry in so many words but I caught myself in time before I let myself truly fall. It is embaressing to be so vulnerable.

Today was like everyday nowadays. Which is a phrase that I have used before and a repition that holds truth still because nothing changes.

In Health class we defined Masculine and Feminine Characteristics. The boys on one side of the classroom and the girls on the other. We wrote the traits on the board and realized how very stereotypical it was. The boys of the classroom wrote "Kitchen Skills" for women and wrote "Pyro's" for men. The girls wrote "graceful" for women and "proud" for men. And I thought to myself how very funny the boys answers were. And how serious our list was.

As we looked on at what we wrote we soon grew into a debate over what we each group listed. And the boys of the classroom grew upset at what we wrote about masculine characteristics and the girls were irritated with what the boys wrote about feminine characteristics. Each both argued that both characteristics pertain to both sexes and not too just one because they know of people who possess both. When one boy asked why "graceful" was on feminine characteristics and not masculine. He was being a smartass and he explained that graceful could be a masculine characteristic because men needed to be graceful to be athletic and participate in sports.

Men can be graceful which is true. But what we forget to analyze here is that what we are defining are FEMININE and MASCULINE chacteristics, not what we as a people gender are. It is very true that a girl may have both characteristics, same goes for a boy. It is a waste of time to complain about streotypes because tradition and society over a span of time have define what is feminine and masculine. A man who overly sensitive and likes ballet is going to be concerned feminine. A woman who is arrogant and proud is going to be considered masculine and independent. It is what society has labeled for us.

The room suddenly turned quiet from the debate and then the bell rang and I felt strangely proud to have been so passionate. It felt like my old self again emerging. For a moment, I remembered what it was like to be so confident in front of people who I do not know. For a moment Old May May was back.

As I picked up my things and was about to head out the door my health teacher called me to the front of the classroom.

Great job. You were very insightful. I'm glad you spoke the way you did; you brought the class together in a mature way. And stumped them! They had no rebuttal! Thank you.

And it was great to be praised. It was great because I knew that I once was proud to be who I was. Because I could once did have that kind of influence and passion, the kind that just commanded attention and silence. I walked out of the classroom and felt very great about myself, maybe she will come back, maybe I'll be okay in time, maybe.

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