Today
I woke up today and wore a skirt and it has made all the difference. I guess looks do matter. And what you wear makes you who you are. It demands attention and screams what your body movements says. I guess I was superficial today.
Today in health we were defining love and we took notes on the overhead. Everthing was color coordinated in blue and pink and I couldn't help but think how sexist everything was in this world. We defined love in mediocre terms and such few words that I was too turned off to actually write them down. I felt unease because we only spent two minutes describing what love is. No room for discussion. I had to remind myself that I was in a Freshman Class in Highschool and this is what they have to tell you that way you will be afraid of sex. I guess no matter how old you get, they still spoon feed you bullshit. They leave reality and what's really important in the bowl to throw away. They want to keep you as innocent as possible. And I laughed to myself because I thought how this class won't matter in a year when at least two thirds of the class knows someone who is a baby that has a baby. I laughed because everyone gave cliche answers to what love is. I laughed because this teacher infront of me who is no older than 25, few years out of college, who is the Varsity Soccer coach, can lecture us about abstinence when it is obvious he has popped a few cherries in his time. I thought about irony and contradiction and the motivation of a paycheck.
Today I was reminded of the indifference of good men. I was reminded in an article we read in Psychology about how a woman was stabbed and murdered in broad daylight in a city and out of the 38 eye witnesses of the murder scene, no one helped her. There was another case where there was a woman who was raped and stabbed who tried to escape her agressor and ran into the middle of the street and people watched as her rapist dragged her back upstairs to finish the job. The article as explaining about research studies about 'why.' Isn't that always the question for everything; why? Why? So they answered the question by saying influence of society and belief that so one else will help them. That something will be done and they don't have to do it. Either that or they are afraid of their own well being because they do not want to intervene in matters that do not apply to them.
I thought about honor and courage and bravery and medieval times because people need to be taught how to be a knight in shining armor. Because Knights don't need shining armor. Because Knights can come in the form of a woman or a man or a child. Because Knights are disguised incognito in todays society. And there are so few of them.
We did an experiment where we made the only two boys in our small psychology class stage a scene in the cafeteria where one was being yelled at thrown milk upon. It worked perfectly. The entire lunch room went quiet and everyone was staring. It prove a point. Only one person out of the entire lunch area came to his aid. One. Everyone else just stood there in awe or laughed.
I guess that is reality. I guess because no one wants to be associated with the loser who is drenched in milk. I guess because people are scared and superficial without knowing it. And it makes me sad to see that no one would help. And it makes me even sadder that I'm not sure I would have.
I had a chance to prove myself today. And I did it. Some kid dropped his binder and all of his papers fell. I picked them up even though I was wearing a skirt. And he said I picked them up wrong and I felt offended because I was bending over in a skirt to help him but it didn't matter. Because I just had to prove to myself that I could do it and I did. And it was nice. I hope I do it again.