There are things I haven't said because I choose to not wash my dirty laundry in public and then I forget that I have a bag over my head when I reveal what I've done in online diary, so I'm back to try and make clear of my absences and make you fall in love with the words that I write.

Again.

It's been so long. And every time I take a haitus for my own mental health I realize more and more that these are the times that I am changing most. That it is essential that I take time off whenever I feel the need to not talk about whatever goes in my life. There is so much to say but none of it will make sense if I don't explain in thorough detail every event that has happened since the last entry I ACTUALLY said something, which was probably been more than a month ago. I'm too verbose for any of this. & too lazy, if you want to know the truth. Who has the time to read this entry and not be bored except for myself? In truth, in the long run, the only purpose of this diary is for personal benefit in the distance future where I can look back and laugh, or sigh, or even cry.

So I make my own decisions. And I do things for myself. & I'm growing up. Really growing up this time. And this is who I am now.

I love it.

I'll find my place. I'm so young and I feel like I'm on top of the world.

17 and invincible, baby.

Everything is so new now. I feel like I'm doing things for the first time. Like the tilt of my head, and the sigh of my breath, and the way I question with my eyebrows. Everything feels right and harmonized and perfect.

I'm going to leave it like that for now. I'm going to let myself be take it all in and then I'll explain myself later. Later.

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