Just Today
I was with my sister today and we were talking and she said something about growing up. I can't remember exactly, but I do remember feeling nostalgic about it. Last night we were talking about having a sleep over downstairs as we were driving home, the four of us: my brother, my sister, me, and my little cousin (because she is staying with us for the week). The way we use to when we were kids. We would make 'nests' with pillows and blankets and make a fort. We would watch movies and bring provisions such as chips and soda. It was so innocent.
M-cubed (Mae-an, Mitchell, and May-May) are now all over the age of 18 starting this year. And we were all thinking ...would we be making 'nests' infront of the T.V at the age of 25? Because that is only in a few years. And things will be very different. And I'm trying not too think about it. Because it makes me sadder than you know. I love my family. They are all that I know. But, how long can that possibly last? I'm 18 and I still sleep in my sister's room with my comfort pillow and stuffed animal when I get scared. It's pathetic.
The point is I'm 18 and that's waaaay beyond the embarressing 12 when I thought I'd stop sleeping in my sister's room. What more when I'm 25? Sick.
I'm just scared because I act like an adult sometimes, but am I ready? Am I really ready? College is just around the corner and I'm nto excited at all. I know I shouldn't but I think I dread it because it's nto the school I wanted to go to. But that is my fault because I didn't give a flying fuck about it during the beggining of the school year.
I need to go because we have no air-conditioning and having four computers on at the same time can make one room very hott.