And this time just feels different. Like so different it makes my stomach hurt and gives me an anxious feeling all the time that won't go away.

Won't go away.

Like I've forgotten something over and over again. The anxious that makes me unable to eat. The kind right before a big speech or big test that would be deciding factor of your grade.

The big kind.

The kind that won't go away.

And I keep trying to get my mind off things. And I can't. I can't because I'm trying hard to be normal because being depressed makes you so unproductive.

And I have so many things to do.

But, I can't do any of them.

God. Please make this go away.

I'm being so good. Grant me a miracle.

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