And I feel like I'm starting to forget the way you kiss. Just like when you wake up from a dream in the morning and your scared to move or open your eyes because you'll forget.

And that's what it feels like now.

I'm scared to remember. But, I don't want to forget.

Your face is starting to blurr into different shapes because I've ignored lump-in-the-throat feeling. Because I'm so damn good at pretending that everythings okay. I can go on with the rest of my life without anyone realizing that the best thing that ever happened to me left.

But, when I squeeeze my eyes shut and turn on Once Soundtrack and put The Hill on repeat, I slowly start to drift into what I remember was a painfully beautiful memory of the way we were.

And it was cruel the way life ripped us apart. It was cruel the way our fairytale got analyzed. And I'm the only one that is the gatekeeper to locked chest of what we were suppose to be.

I'm the only one that still believes.

And, like my memories of you those beliefs are slowly starting fade. Slowly transparent enough like a foggy day that the sun fights against.

And all I want to do is pretend that we're both happy so that the pain isn't overwhelming. I just want to pretend that we're going to make it. That you are just going through this hard time because you want to make it up to me later.

And I'm crying so much right now that my face feels raw and my eyes hurt. And I need to stop because I'm so good at pretending that everythings okay... I can't break down now.

I just wish that you would come back.

Come back.

Let's pretend that we're in love again and that nothing hurts this bad.

Love me again.

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