I should be studying. I feel like that's how I always start off every entry. I should be always doing something other than this. But, writing is one of my favorite distractions.

I just had a cigarette even though I quit. It's like I was ever addicted, but I do give in from time to time.

I hope my brother quits. And my sister stops.

And I feel like in a weird mood. But, not in too weird mood. Just a little bit weird.

I had three people today ask me if I was sad. Made a comment that I seemed sad. Random. And, it got me thinking ... am I? I can never tell when I'm sad.

It's fucked up that people have to tell you that your sad, when you can't even recognize it yourself.

I was in microbiology lab today, innoculating some TSB media with an unknown and one of my lab partners leaned over from across the bench and asked me a question about the assignment for that day. And I replied.

And then he paused and smiled.

And he said, you talk with passion. You have passion written all over your face when you talk. Your so sincere.

And I took a moment to take in what he just said. And I was impressed with myself... that I can make someone realize that I live everyday, every moment with passion, and I was just proud and flattered at the same time.

And I just smiled back. Shook my head. And didn't say a word as I went back to finish the lab report for that day.

And that's it.

That's all I wanted to say. That's all that I have to say.

And I'm just trying to be me again.

I think I'm beginning to be.

Good for me.

Good bye, Scott Matthew. I'm moving on. Slowly.

But moving on. And it feels fucking great.

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