Did I ever tell you about the man after Scott? Did I ever tell you about the story of the second time I fell in love? And where all of this leads? And how I'm for the second time broken in shambles and trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

But, and despite what they say - it hurts everytime. It gets easier to bear only because experience teaches you to go numb when trauma occurs - but it doesn't take away from the pain that someone in your life left. Left a scar on your heart the size of the Mississippi river.

And, I just wanted to let you know that I loved him a great deal. But, that things change and that I don't know how to be sad anymore. And that I push everyone away from me. I make good men into bad men. And I make them cringe around me. Hate me.

And, honestly that's okay because it's my fault. It's all my fault that I'm all alone right now. I need to learn how to be single. I need to learn how to organize my thoughts more so that I can monitor the amount of fucking garbage that I say to myself.

I'm moving on and becoming a better person. And no one in this world will hurt me the same way that the first one did. But, it hurts like hell.

And honest to God, I thought I was happy. And I think I loved him more than Scott. And to be honest maybe I don't feel as sad because ... maybe I don't love him as much as the first one. Or maybe because I know how to get over a broken heart because of the first one. Or maybe it's because this one was perfect for me - and left in a such a way that couldn't make me hate him.

Because he's such a great man. But, I need to not remember the memories. That's where a lot of people make the fucking mistake of remembering the good shit as soon as the break up is over. You're not ready to remember the good times because then you can't move on. You're stuck in this limbo of indecision of whether or not you should hold on or let go. And that shit will drive you fucking crazy.

For the moment, tuck them away in a safe place that you can't reach and that won't touch you. Ignore it for now. That's best. Until time heals your wound and you can open up pandora's rusty box of past loves and it won't pierce your heart as badly.

Be smart about it.

You are smart.

You are brilliant. Wonderful. And fabulous. And many people love you. And you have to remember that just because someone left doesn't mean you've lost any part of yourself. You're still whole - even if it doesn't feel like it. No one can take anything from you - that you can't take back. Any part of you that you give out - pieces of your heart - only have one owner - you. Remember that. The pieces of your heart are only truly loyal to you. They are an army of your emotions and they are dismissed and brought to the front lines only by your will. And if you see fit - to call them back to safety - you have all the power. Take it back.

The pieces of your heart are never going to go missing. So when you love someone and they leave - let them leave - you are still whole with or without them. No one will love you more than you love yourself. Remember that. Many people may think that's conceited - let them. They don't love you anyway - not truly. And if you have to save yourself from pain - do it. When you have no else in this world - remember that you have yourself. So, you should come first.

No one can take away from you what rightfully belongs to you.

Let them leave.
Let them leave.
Let them leave.

No one is as important as you. Take care of yourself. Then take care of the rest when you are better. And when you can stand on your own two feet. Helping others when you're barely able to stand will only cause others to fall when they lean on you.

You want to be a superhero?

Get stronger. Get your life back.

Live.
Right.
Now.

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