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Sometimes I think I'm moving on. Some days I think I'm really making progress and that I'm okay and that I can handle things very well. And then there are moments in those days where I feel really weak. Especially when you look at me. And I know I shouldn't be like. I know that I should move on. I wish getting over a broken heart wasn't so difficult. I was someone could wave a magic wand and make it go away at the drop of a hat.
And then life wouldn't feel so lonely or shitty. And I don't know hwo to do this. Maybe I'm stuck in this stupid thing where people don't knwo how to love. And maybe I'm fucked up when it comes to relationships. And maybe I don't know a single fucking thing. Maybe I'm absolutely horrifically retarded when it comes to this case.
And to be honest - I want to love like I've never been hurt - but it's hard to forget. I'm just want to be me again. I want to be me again. I want to be me again. Like I've almost lost myself.
And all I know know is that I know nothing. All I know now is I feel more aware of the fact that I don't have control over a lot of things. And I do. I want to believe in good things and make good things happen when I want them to.
I just want to be okay already. Make me okay. Make this pain go away. Where are you now God? Where are you now? Make this go away. Make this fucking go away. Make me normal and sane. And maybe I just need to be more normal. Less unique because that's how people do it. Because no one loves like I do. Normally people in normal relationships that are happy aren't like this because they know when to quit and they know when things are dead and over and have moved on. I'm so fucked when it comes to shit like this. I just want to move on. I'm moving on!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay. Okay. Moving. On. Now.
I'm just typing so I can stop thinking about it. To be completely honest it's just exactly what I'm thinking right now. That's all. My thoughts uncensored. And I just need to let it out so I can move on and get on with my day. And that's why I'm writing here. And I feel kind of better but not really. But, I'm glad I just got it out so I don't have to let it bother me. I'm so much better at being independent than I give myself credit for. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay.
People leave you. All the time.